i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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