if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Houston, we have a squirter
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Come share oat with me in your robe
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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