i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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