I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
