Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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