fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
