I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
