There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
