omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
