So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
