in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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