Tell her she can't have a vagina
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
