Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
