"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
