Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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