is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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