Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The uberlube is also flammable
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
