Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
