I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
