dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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