i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
