I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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