So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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