Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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