So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You're a waste of cheezeits
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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