Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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