it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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