The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
