Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
