Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
