I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
