You're completely useless in the revolution.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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