I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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