Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
