oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
