you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
