i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
honey bunches of taint.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
