I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
