Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I think I died a long time ago.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
