the condom got lost in my hair
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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