so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
