i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
