only if we run a train.
done.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
