so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
