Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
