For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
