watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
