Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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