just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
