If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Couch. On fire.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
