He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
