just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm both gender and math confused
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
