Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
