Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
