you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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